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- Cheap Business Phone Service - Make phone calls anywhere for free or darn close to it.
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- Really Good Web Hosting - As bullet proof as there is. A strong hosting provider with all the resources you need.

My Favorite Credit Resources
- Consolidate Your Debt - One monthly payment. Stop collection calls.
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- Lower Your Car Payment - Refinance to reduce your monthly payment.
- Credit Report / Credit Score - This consolidated report is better than most.
- Credit Cards - Find the best card for you for low rates, balance transfer, credit rebuilding and rewards.

Jan

2008

Miss Michigan Gets Past Credit Card Bill Round And Wins But Plans to Pawn Miss America Crown for Bank of America Employee Hand Soap

Posted by Steve Rhode as Funny Stuff, General News, Reviews, Wa-Wa-What

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Miss America Get Her Post-Christmas Credit Card Bill

Miss Michigan Kirsten Haglund, a 19-year-old aspiring Broadway star, was crowned Miss America 2008 on Saturday in a live show billed as the unveiling of the 87-year-old pageant’s new, hipper look, after successfully navigating the stress and pressure of the post-holiday credit card bills have arrived round.

Audience members and other contestants thought Miss Michigan had broken down into tears and had been eliminated after being surprised with a post-Christmas MBNA bill during the 2008 Miss America Pageant “credit card elimination round”.

This new talent section had been added this year after the levels of consumer debt had risen so dramatically in the U.S. this past year.

Pageant officials said they wanted to introduce a moment of modern realism into the new sexier show. “We just wanted to show the girls in their best and worst so we elected to surprise them with their holiday credit card bills to test their composure.”

Kirsten was thought to be instantly eliminated as she broke into a deep and rolling sob after being handed the envelope. But the audience and other girls were pleasantly surprised when they discovered that she in fact was not sobbing, but laughing so hard that she struggled to catch her breath.

“I just knew I’d win that round. We all knew it was coming but we didn’t know when. I felt extremely confident that my holiday season credit card bill would not be out of control.”, she said. She let her secret slip when she said, “After all, everyone knows that Michigan has one of the slowest and worst economies in the U.S. and with all my friends and their parents being unemployed this year we just couldn’t afford to spend much.”

The confidence boost Miss Michigan got from winning the credit card round gave her the natural high she needed to shake her moneymaker in the swimsuit round. One judge was heard to mutter “Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow” as she came down the runway in her gold and black bikini. Audience members thought they then saw him go ashen as he realized that the hot Ms. Haglund was younger than his daughter. The judge immediately left, bought a Corvette.

Her talent round was moving as well. Ms. Haglund did a rousing musical number titled “All I want is for Bank of America to Give Employees Hand Soap“. The song was sung to the country tune by Toby Keith, “Can’t Buy You Money“. tune and was a bit risque at times and pushing the envelope of even the new riskier pageant, but the audience loved her “Hold Your Dirty Hands High B-O-A, Woop, Woop” chorus.

In recognition of the audience support the new Miss America held her “Dirty Bank of America Hands High” as she took her victory lap to the tune of “Smoke on the Water”, in honor of her grandparents since it was their favorite song before they landed in the assisted living home.

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