If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed right now, before you forget, to get the latest posts. Thanks for visiting!

“Let me be honest with you.” Don’t you hate it when people say that to you? I do. It always makes me think that everything else out of their mouth has been a lie. So you want to be honest now? What have you been up to this point?

I think what people really mean to say is “let me be open with you”. Openness is scary and probably not something that a lot of people do the majority of their lives. I must be stupid, no need to agree. I find that trying to live my life being true to myself, my beliefs and my values is a harder battle than the comfort of conformity that many crave.

Here is what confuses me. On this blog I’ve had some pictures of very attractive women. I’ve been publicly criticized by some that the are not appropriate, in bad taste, not pretty enough, etc. And I understand those comments, but at the same time those pages of hot babes are among the highest viewed pages on the site. I think what we have here is a failure to communicate. While the majority silently surf those pages the minority wants to be negative, moral, vocal and demand conformity, yet as a society we celebrate individuality. So which is it?

I’m shocked (yeah, not really), could it be that while people proclaim one outward face but they are really different people inside, hiding in a shell and not willing to be authentic to themselves? Does the fear of letting people see who you really are, control you? Are you brave enough to be open and be judged by others for who you really are?

I’ll be open with you, being open and just being yourself is difficult. For me, to be open and honest with you means I have to be able to let sharp and pointed barbs of criticism not mortally wound me. I have to both care and not care at the same time, but they do strike hard at times. I would find life less rewarding and fulfilling if I always had to live for the Joneses, for you or put up a facade others want or expect me to have. I say, the bigger battle is trying to be comfortable being loved for who YOU are and not who you want people to think you are.

You Can’t Win

I’ve got this money personality survey that people use all the time. It’s funny, some of the feedback is so difficult to implement if my goal was to try and please all the people, all the time.

For Example: Recent Survey Response From Someone That Took Online Test

Were you satisfied with the online survey?
The questions and responses on the quiz were for younger people than I am. I glanced at some articles and found the same thing to be true. (OK, so….)

Please tell us what can be done to improve the quality of the information on our website:
Clean up your language: you use too many loaded terms that indicate your bias–even if I may agree with the bias, I want an unbiased answer. (So let me get this straight, you agreed with the statements but did not want to see them?)

Tamara

So that Starbucks I was in the other day in Times Square, where Pam met Hank Azaria, is also where we met Tamara. Tamara has worked in New York City for the last seven years and is now looking to find if there is more in life than just the daily grind. I was just sitting there trying to check my emails and could not help but overhear her conversation with her friend, an older woman she had met on a flight several years ago.

Tamara was talking about her upcoming trip around England and exploring the country. I heard her say she was going to be near where we live and politely interrupted her conversation with her friend to give her my business card for my office in England. I let her know that while she was in the country, if she needed any help or assistance, to get in touch with me.

Pam, Mandy and Danny all came in shortly after and we all filled her in about all the tips and things we have learned being from America and now living in the U.K. We even offered for her to stay with us on her trip when she passes near us. It will be nice to spend time with another displaced American in our little local English country pub.

I could tell that Tamara was a kindred spirit from the moment we all met. She is seeking out a greater purpose in life and trying to see all she can to understand that there is more to her existence on tis earth other than the nine hour days she spent in between traveling to and from work.

So What?

I mention the Tamara meeting simply because as well as people think they know me, they don’t. On one hand I’m accused of being unprofessional, not having the right pictures on this site, being too contrived, straying away from purely financial advice, and probably a whole host of other things. The criticisms of me and what I say are acidic but the people that make those statements don’t know me. In fact, what they are criticizing me for is how what I say or do falls outside their preconceived notions of who I should be for them.

Is The Greater Tragedy Pretending?

So who are you living your life for? Do you make changes for your critics? Do you take the negative feedback to heart and try to change your life to match how others think you should live? Why?

Is that really the way you want to live and if not, what are you going to do about it?

Painting by luscher
Photo by the underlord

-----

If you enjoyed this post be sure to grab the RSS feed or get posts by email so you don't miss a bit of what's to come.

Steve

Related Posts

• No Related Post