I Hate To Worry About Money. Do You?

Posted by Steve Rhode as Uncategorized

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One of the things I’ve learned in life is that it doesn’t matter how much you make or have in the bank, even people with loads of cash still worry about money. And then again I’ve met people with next to nothing, behind on bills, who don’t have a care in the world. There must be a worry gene.

I’m one of those people that is not immune to worry. However I am fortunate that I worry less than my father. I always tease him that he wakes up in the middle of the night worried because he doesn’t have anything to worry about.

When I lived through my bankruptcy in 1990 I was scared shitless. In fact looking back on that experience I lived through most, if not all, of the major life fears. I felt like I had failed as a father and husband, I was afraid of my creditors, afraid of the debt collectors and afraid of what tomorrow would bring.

It wasn’t bankruptcy that did all that to me, it was myself. I did that to me. I started the self-doubt engine and if there was one thing I was an absolute success at, it was the ability to create all sorts of negative energy like a pro. I even had a backup generator if the worry engine accidently stopped. I was prepared for worry.

Fear in the face of financial trouble can be debilitating and lead us to be people that we are not. I can understand how spouses can fight with each other, how life can get tense, and how to time with friends and children can seem less important.

I wish there was a self-help guide that someone in debt could hand to family and friends to help explain the emotional roller coaster we live through. We could make it a comic book with three pages.

Page 1 - Picture of yourself rolled in a ball in a closet, rocking back and forth, hiding from the world.
Page 2 - Picture of yourself unable to face the world or decide what kind of pizza you want.
Page 3 - Picture of you carrying a sign that says “I Just Need a Hug”.

Some label debtors as losers. Not me. After having lived through that financial chasm I know that debtors are, for the most part, life challenged at that particular moment.

If I had my way, people in problem debt would be able to park near the doors, get discounts for movie tickets and all the free hugs they wanted, when they wanted them.

In a couple of years it will be two decades since I lived through those times but that doesn’t make the fear or the pain any less. If anything thing these days, I’m not afraid of my current situation, just damn afraid that I’ll unexpectedly have to live thorough financial times like that again. But I’m not alone.

Since my bankruptcy there are over 15 million people that have joined my club. I just wish we had some sort of block party for past bankrupts or maybe even a support group. Hum, Bankrupts Anonymous?

I can see it now, “Hi, my name is Steve and I’m a former bankrupt”.

“Hi Steve”, the circle says.

Maybe that’s not such a great idea.

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Steve